Saturday, March 8, 2008

People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.

On Thursday afternoon while I was at work a strange thing happened to me. I was taking inventory when a drop of blood hit my paper. Then another. Before I realized it was my blood my nose was flowing like a faucet. Why is this strange you ask, because I have never had a nose bleed before in my life. I felt perfectly fine and it freaked me out. I quickly took 2 steps to my right to grab some napkins as I left a trail. I shoved a napkin up my nose and wiped up my blood off the floor. I then made a bee line to the bathroom. My employee's all had a puzzled look on their faces as to why did I have a napkin up my nose and why did I have blood on my face? "Hey, did a box fall off the shelf and hit you?" someone asked. "Um, no I just started having a nose bleed" I said. I made it to the bathroom across the hall and looked into the mirror. The blood was gushing from one side of my nose and it quickly ran down my face. At that split second I thought of how Edward Norton felt after beating himself up in Fight Club.

I took some toilet paper and made a fresh wad to shove up my nose, cleaned up the now red sink and made my way back to my office. I called Rachel to tell her that I was really scared. I kept having to change the tissue because of the constant blood flow they got soaked really fast. I could tell over the phone that she was worried, but thank god talked some sense into me. She had me call the building Admin for help. She alerted Security who are trained in CPR just in case. After 10 minutes with my entire staff, admin, and security surrounding me the bleeding finally slowed down and stopped. It was surreal moment staring at myself in the mirror for a split second wondering if I'll see my wife and daughter again. In fact the real reason I even called Rachel was to tell her that I loved her, but never did because she insisted I called for help so I did. I ended up having a bleed free rest of the evening which was a good sign. Security said it is common for people to have nose bleeds during dry times which it has been here in Spokane this past week. I'm just glad that I didn't have to be taken to the hospital and got to go home.


always sunny said...

i love you.

Modest Mousketeer said...

Gee wiz, welcome to the "Random Fluid Eruption Hall of Fame." It was probably the government that caused it... OR you need to quit picking your nose.

Gross. I hate nose bleeds.